Desi identifier

How to identify a desi in US - Part I

1) Toyota Corolla
2) Honda Civic
3) Honda Odyssey
4) Acura MDX
5) A cart full of grocery items lying unattended in the middle of the aisle

The three letters - MLM

There are three letters that I dread a lot nowadays that I am in US. No, its not Flu. Its called MLM.

I know bits and pieces of the concept, but I am really not interested in it. It a game of cat and mouse that goes in WalMart and other groceries stores with Indians hounding other targets to pull into their MLM business. Just today I saw a family trying to hound us by following us to the same aisles that we went to and I know this for a fact because they have already tried talking to us on MLM. Hey, I am not against people earning an extra buck, but not at my privacy and space.

It all starts with an unsuspecting smile and then they come closer and say a hi. If you reciprocate then you are doomed. They test the waters by throwing up the similarity of the geography that we belong to in India and then move on to the local area that you reside in. Then they figure out that you are in IT and start off with some IT funda to lend credibility to their intentions. Once you start talking a lot they systematically get your phone number and email id and then throw up the idea of MLM at you.

This is the moment when it dawns upon you their real intent and have to excuse yourself from the situation by faking a mobile call. I got punked by them a couple of times and I have learnt my lesson from then on.

If the men are into MLM then the ladies on H4 have setup a beauty parlor at their home and hound you no less than their male counterparts.

Gees, I dread nowadays to go these nearby shops in fear of such people. They dont restrict this behaviour among desis alone but also try their luck at a few native people.

I know that we are facing a recession and having a job is difficult, but please choose some other ways of earning money than this and respect my privacy.

Johnny Gaddaar

I watched Johnny Gaddar last week and man what a movie. It was sensibly directed and no unnecessary item numbers or romantic songs. I had a lot of options in mind about who killed Johnny G in the end but it turned out to be the apt choice.

I was thinking what if it would have been Rimii Sen who was waiting for Johnny and killed him and took the money from garage and ran away? It can be a possiblity if the screenplay was tweaked a little but still this original climax was good in the sense that the slain man's wife has avenged her husband's death.

Also kudos to the director to show that the killer is a novice and is scared. He is not potrayed as a macho killing machine. We also see that he gets confident only after he starts committing more murders.

Gripping screenplay. Dharamji rocks.

Will give it 4.5/5 stars.

Tanjore Travelogue

I had been to Tanjore last week and happened to snap a few pictures with my nokia E50. I know the camera is not great but the architecture is. It was a very nice place. And oops if I have forgotten to mention the name of the place it is Brihadeeshwar temple(Periya kovil) in Tanjore where you have huge Shiva lingam. It was awesome. The architecture was simply amazing.

Andrum Indrum - II

Andru unavu araiyil aval ennai parthu ketal 'Neengal Engirindhu varenga' endru,

Nan vilayatuku veetil irunthu endru sonnen,

Aanal,

Andru enaku theriya villai, avalum en veetil irunthu than varuval endru.

Andrum Indrum

Andru kalvi araiyil moondravuthu naal avalai kettargal, nee enna vaga iruka aasa padigirai?

Aval Sonnal, Nan India vaga iruka aasai padugiren endru.

Nan ninaithen,

Nee India vaga iruka aasai patal nan Delhi aaga iruka koodatha?

Embarrasment is the Word

Have you ever been embarrased that you want to dig a hole right there and jump into it. I have had a few moments which I would I like to right about.

Once I was travelling by a day train from Tiruchi to Chennai. Since I was travelling by 2nd class sitting, I had to adjust between two medium sized people. Opposite were a old couple who had a look on their face as if I was a biscuit bandit or something. Also they were talking among themselves about how today's teenagers are spoilt brats. I was moving nervously in my seat because I don't like people judging me before even talking a word to me. Suddenly I felt thirsty and I picked up my bottle and drank a gulp of water when suddenly somebody in a far off country thought about me and I had a hiccup. I was unable to control it and spat the water out which nearly landed near the old couple. Thank goodness there was no CRPF(Railway Police) around and we had almost reached chennai. I apologized profusely to them and got down and simply ran away without looking back.

The other incident happened when I was in my seventh standard. I was visiting the airport for the first time. My aunt had taken me with her to receive her daughter who was coming from London. I had bought a slip on shoe the previous day and I was flaunting it in the airport. Suddenly I had the urge to skate on the tile floor. So I ran fast and tried to skate and ended up landing with a thump on the ground. An American was watching my antics with amusement helped to my feet and offered a few words of friendly advice.Whew! So much for 'Who Dares Wins' and 'Ripley's Believe it or Not'.

I get embarrased even today when I think about them. If you have faced any such moments and don't mind getting more embarrased then please let me know in the comments section.

Kamal's Jinx

Disclaimer: First of all to all Kamal Haasan fans, please don't take offense to my below post. Its just a post which arised out of acute boredom. I am also a big time fan of Kamal and watch his movies FDFS.

Have you people noticed something about Kamal's heroine's(female leads) in his movies. There was thought I was having that they somehow do not get enough project once they complete a movie with Kamal. Again, I may be wrong. But to highlight a few:

>Vasundhara Das- After Hey Ram she got more offers for her singing and acted perhaps one movie with Ajith(I don't know whether it was before Hey Ram or after). Though her singing took off,her acting crashlanded.

>Vasool Raja- Sneha's carrer after Vasool Raja has been limited to Saravans Stores and that odd Shaam movie.

>Vetaiyadu Velaiyadu- Jyothika's marriage was announced at the time this movie was about to be released and she got married after SOK released.

>Virumaandi - Abirami's last swansong I guess. No where to be seen. Hoping to see here soon in the small screen.

>Anbe Sivam- Kiran who?

But the first four points had one letter in common. That is 'V'. I think it is jinxed for Kamal's heroines. So please get a few hints from small screen serial makers and adopt a new letter.

Share Auto Predicament

Getting a share auto from the place where I work at 6:00 pm is as rare and impossible as Kamal and Rajini working together. Even if I manage to get one, I end up getting the most dingy seats in it. This happened last week when I was returning home.

As usual there was big fight for seats and people were booking their seats using whatever they could lay their hands on. Some people used kerchiefs,some used their wet umbrellas. I somehow managed to edge two people while they were involved in a fight as to who will get the lone seat by sneaking between them. Then followed a real predicament. I was sitting in a seat which was surrounded by women(read as Sisters in my girlfriend's perspective). Now I had to adjust myself in such a manner that, I had to ensure that no part of my body touched the women. My legs where bent in a 56 degree angle and both my hands were formed in a 'X' position. Now to compound to this issue it was raining outside.

This is when nature began to play its part and I had this urge to sneeze. If I sneezed then my body will surely move and will end up touching one of the women. Now to consider the immediate repercussions of such a blasphemy:

1. End up getting a glare from them 'As how dare you violate my chastity by committing such an act?'

2. Stop the share auto at the next Women's Police Station and file a case against me.

3. Can't even think of any more terrifying thoughts than this.

So, I resolved this sneeze can be done as soon I reach home and with great difficulty suppressed it. But, it does not end there. I had read some stupid forward that suppressing a sneeze can rupture your veins. But, couldn't really take it seriously because thinking that I have a lot of veins in my body so loosing one is not a big deal than go through the embarrasment of going to the police station.

P.S: I didn't sneeze when I went home.

P.P.S: Please find an illustration of where I was seated in the share auto. Also forgive my painting skills.